Starting a new year is akin to crossing a river, leaving the past behind and coming out clean to start fresh on the other side. At least we like to think of it that way. We may even go so far as to look at ourselves in a mirror and make promises to ourselves about how this year will be different. Some of us take the time to make resolutions that we know we aren’t going to keep. “This is the year I am going to the gym every week.” “This is the year I am going to lose weight.” “This is the year I am going to eat healthy. Well, at least healthier than I have been.” “This is the year I’m going to quit smoking, drinking, or using foul language.”

While our intentions are good, and we even intend to hold ourselves accountable, most of us are not very good at that. We quickly reach a point where we find a “good” excuse to break these promises to ourselves. After all, breaking a promise to ourselves is not the same as breaking a promise to another person. Right?

But there is a reason we make these promises to ourselves. More often than not, it really isn’t about us, but about the people who love and cherish us. They want us to change because they want us to stick around for another year. And there is a certain wisdom in listening to them as we realize we really are doing ourselves harm by keeping our nasty habits. Those habits may also be hurting those that live and work with us as well. We tell ourselves that we will stop because we love them and don’t want them to suffer because of our lack of tenacity.

“That is the reason that this verse from Proverbs is so very important for each of us. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) This verse is key to understanding how we can keep our promises to ourselves. It shows how we should allow our family and friends to help us keep our word. Habits are difficult enough to break on our own. But if we have others hold us accountable, it becomes manageable. Just the presence of someone we care about can encourage restraint and a reminder of why we made the resolution to begin with.

And God’s presence in our lives can provide inspiration to remain true to our desire to change for the better. A gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit can mean the difference between success and failure. And we will all be the better for it.